“Men who fight for gold can not afford to lose to a girl.” will become my favorite line of Dani’s this week she really is truly a Queen in her own right at this point. Working on battle plans, she meets with the army that has been hired by the city she is trying to take on now they of course were rude, pompous and wanted to do things to her. Dani did not rise to the bait when they were present but declared the leader should be killed first in battle. I do not blame her, I would have said the same.

Tyrion once again proves that he really is a man of worth, despite what his family thinks of him. He goes to Sansa and speaks kindly to her, letting her know that he did not ask for this and that he wants her to speak as she wishes, that she is not a prisoner. Trying also to find some connection with her some understanding in that they are both being forced into this. Also offering to her the promise that he will not hurt her. Just before the wedding Cersei and the Queen-to-be have a moment which ends in, “If you ever call me sister again I will have you strangled in your sleep.” Nice Cersei, very classy. Hard to say who you dislike more in moments like that her or her Son. Oh wait when he comes in and gloats to Sansa about her Father being gone and he gives Sansa away, I say once again Joffrey takes the cake. Not only does he do that but he makes an embarrassment of things for his Uncle as well when it is time to cloak the bride. I really can not believe no one has strangled him in his sleep yet.

The red witch is up to her usual things. Seducing, getting blood at least so far she has not killed another person. The whole lord of light story line is a little meh to me, but it could be that I do not like the red woman personally. I can not disagree with burning leeches though, nobody likes leeches.

Back at the wedding feast Tyrion is very drunk and once again we wonder why no one has kicked Joffrey off the top of the castle yet. He threatens Sansa with visiting her after Tyrion has passed out and tells her that she will be held down if it is not what she wants. With that done he is ready to humiliate the Lady and demands for the bedding ceremony to done. Tyrion however says it will not happen, going so far as to threaten Joffrey with how he will bed his own wife if he thinks that is going to happen. For all he is drunk and wobbly and all of that you have to admire he still had the sense to keep her from going through that embarrassment. When Sansa is ready to submit to consummating the marriage Tyrion stops her and says he will not share her bed unless she wants him to, when asked what if she never wants him to, he says “And so my Watch begins”; he is such a clever fellow.

Back in Dani’s camp when the man who was supposed to kill her because of a coin pick arrives to do that. She finds that instead of killing her he has killed his Captains, because he values beauty more than when they wanted him to do. A handsome fellow this one, and he is even more so when he swears on his sword, his life and his heart that he is hers. Also of course the second sons are hers and therefore it swells her ranks.

Samuel has a bad night in the woods when he is in a run down little shack and all of a sudden ravens start going crazy. Then just as suddenly they silence and the white walker appears wanting the baby. Things improve however when he uses the dagger that he found on the walker and it literally shatters. With all the ravens chasing them away as they run afterward one is tempted to start quoting Poe. All in all this week’s was the best episode yet, and next week looks to be shaping up to be good as well.

Robb meanwhile finds out that he is going to be a Dad. He is very happy about the fact, although really I would be a little bit worried if I was Robb his war is far from over. However him and his Queen are very happy about the fact and proceed to you know do what you do when you get that kind of news.

Onto Kings landing and it would seem the usual is going on there. Sansa is of course not happy about her new marriage arrangement, but the future Queen is trying to calm her. One has to ask if she is up to something or if she honestly cares, I am inclined to think that she does actually care she seems to be a good and sweet influence. Someone who wants power of course, but she seems to be going about it in a better way. Tyrion for his part does seem conflicted about the whole thing, but he has little more choice then Sansa of course. Tyrion is by far the kindest and most thoughtful of the Lannisters, I think we can keep him. You can not argue with Shae and her feelings that when he is tired with her that Tyrion will get rid of her when he is tired of her, but I do truly think he loves her. Geoffrey and his Grandfather talk about the Dragons and Geoffrey acts like Geoffrey apparently he also does not like to climb stairs.

Dani has her army poised and ready at the gates of another city that holds 200,000 slaves, she does not need to take the city but she wants to so that she can free the slaves. The city leader of course tries to bribe her with gold and a ship but then makes the mistake of threatening her. I really do want to shake my head at those who threaten her, hello she has three very protective dragons. Fool also tried to then take the gold back, not to be of course dragons like shiny things or they like what Mom likes. Dani is really coming into her own as a hard nosed warrior, but she is one that has a very strong set of morals that guide her.

Jamie is heading off to Kings landing and he has sworn to return the Stark girls to their Mother. It is his way of paying the debt that he said he owed Brienne. Once again they seem to be making us want to like him by some of the nicer things he is doing as of late. I have to say I felt a moment of real pride in Jamie when he went back and saved Brienne though and insisted she come to Kings landing with him. I am not sure if I liked having this moment of pride or not, it is Jamie.

Theon’s life is just really not having much of anything good to write about. He has been tortured, tortured some more and when he thought he was going to get some action from the ladies, well that did not end very well either. This leaves us seeing what will be in store for us next week on Game of Thrones.

We still have some Starks in the wood’s, two with the vision telling fellow and his sister skinning rabbits and one as usual these days saying the names of the people she wishes to kill. Arya as it turns out is a pretty good shot at the straw man she is aiming for, but still needs some lessons anyways.

Jon Snow and his new friends have made it to the wall and are climbing up it with the usual ice climbing equipment, pick axes and metal ice shoes of course. It is a long way up and someone has to wonder if they are being completely foolish or brave to be climbing up. There is a very harrowing moment when the ice breaks and shells off causing Jon and his woman to fall and be cut away by the not so nice types. Lucky Jon is quick and manages to save them both.

Robb is having trouble making a deal so that he can get more men to win the war. Having to make a deal with the lord that he offended when he refused to marry his Daughter and married the woman of his choice. So of course he promises Brutus (I mean Edmure Tully) to marry one of them. Tully would prefer to choose his own from the throng of girls, but in the end agrees to do what his King wants.

Meanwhile in Kings Landing there is some haggling over marriages again. I really do enjoy Old Lady Tyrell she says what she wants to when she wants to and doesn’t think twice about it. Once her and Daddy Lannister have come to an agreement there is more buzzing about things with Cersei and Tyrion trying to wiggle out of the weddings they have been demanded to do. Alas there is no way out really and Tyrion ends up telling Sansa and Shae at the same time about the coming nuptials.

Little finger sends us out with a speech about chaos and climbing. We see he knew the whore was selling information and he gave her to Geoffrey. Who in his twisted way of things shot her up with his cross bow and killed her. Those points of starting to like him a little bit that have building up? Gone now but we really shouldn’t expect much else from Geoffrey at this point. Overall this week was not the best episode but there is always a chance to check in with the more entertaining story lines next week.

We finally get to find out what Jon Snow is up to beyond the wall, he is breaking his final vow as a man of the Nights Watch. Yeah he lays with a woman, big no no to the crows of course. He also gets a bath, which has to be a very nice thing since we have no idea when the last time Jon bathed, let alone when any of those beyond the wall might have had a bath.

Arya has a time of it when The Hound lives and so they Brotherhood says the Lord of Light has given him a pardon. She really would like him dead, as we know she has him in her list of names. However The Brotherhood keeps a word when given and let him go. They do however plan to trade Arya for some gold. You can not blame them for that, everyone needs money in a time of war.

Robb has his hands full when one of his Lords goes and kills some Lannister boys. Then to add insult to injury he goes ahead and taunts the King calling him all sorts of lovely names. So Robby finally seems to grow a spine and sentences all of the men who were involved to death. Killing the white haired old man himself as is right when one passes such a sentence. Later on he makes a new plan on how to beat the Lannisters.

Jamie is finally handed over to a Lord who treats him with a little more respect and has his hand taken off him. Unfortunately for him he also needs to have his wound cleaned and then unwisely decides he does not want the milk of the poppy. Maybe it is just me but if someone was cutting into my infected stump I would want something to go with it. After his hand is fixed up he amuses himself by getting into the same bath tub as Brienne, taunting her and then apologizing . I can say they are really starting to make me debate if Jamie might be likeable after all. He finally tells the whole of the story of what happened with the Mad King, how he was demanded to kill his own Father and would be watching thousands of men burn, so he killed the Mad King only to be found by Ned Stark. We find out at this juncture that at this point Jamie really does not like being called the King Slayer. Darn the writers for making me like him a little bit more.

Dani and her army are on the march they all seem to be in good spirit. She gives the unsullied the right to choose their own names to cast away slave names. However the leader that the unsullied have selected for themselves Grey Worm tells her that it is a lucky name for him, because it was the name that he had when he was set free by her. A moving moment.

Tyrion meets his worst day ever. After saving the crown a great deal of money his Father tells him he has to marry Sansa. He seems to like Sansa and objects on the fact that Geoffrey has already tortured the girl and made her life hell now shes being given to him? The hand however proves to indeed be that cruel. I guess Tyrion can take some small solace his Sister is being forced to marry again as well. So what will happen next week?

Jamie is having a very bad day, it is almost enough to make you feel bad for him. After doing a good deed last week and proceeding to not keep his mouth shut he lost a hand, his sword hand to be exact. Well this week he falls off his horse, rolls around in mud and horse dung, drinks horse piss and gets his butt handed to him in hand to hand (pun intended) combat. He has it seems decided to die, I am not sure if it is a good or bad thing he was talked out of it. I mean I feel for the guy on the hand thing but he is not really a nice guy so it is conflicting.

Geoffrey is becoming slightly more likeable because of the workings of his betrothed. She seems to be softening him some, he is still a little turd and has an odd fascination with dead people but she is a much better influence on him then his Mother.

There is the usual spy talk and going back and forth with other folks that we see. The Nights watch has fallen apart and well the old guy in the woods so deserved it. I can not complain about that but I do think it is better presently that Jon is with the King beyond the wall. Don’t you agree?

The best part of the evening had to be what we thought was coming from last week. Dani brings her dragon to be traded off for the unsullied the moment she has the whip in hand she turns the tables. The look on the Masters face when she started speaking Valayrian was priceless, she played her hand perfectly. Killed her enemies, kept her dragons and set her slave army free and they still followed her. As free men. Not a bad way to really get the ball rolling for the throne.

Speaking of Mance the King beyond the wall is planning a big attack on the wall. While he and his men are walking along they come on some creative art design done by those white walkers in horses. I may not be a big art critic but honestly I did not like it. Not one bit.

Iron-born manages to escape only to be hunted down again and then saved again. Maybe it is just me but I have a bit of trouble caring about what happens to him and wish they could dedicate the screen time to someone more enjoyable. Of course I could be happy that we did not have to deal with Geoffrey this week, no one has killed that kid yet?

Dani works out her deal for the unsullied I think there is more to her deal then what is saying of course. She made sure to verify that the unsullied would be hers and listen only to her once the deal was complete. When she was assured of this she offered to give up one of her dragons to get them. To me this seems a rather obvious plot twist because we know Dani would not give up one of her dragons so easily, but it is a plot twist I like.

Jamie actually did something decent which well let’s face it confused me a little bit, but it was good to see. I mean I know men and war and rape go together but it was nice to see it not happen. Now this one good deed does not mean I am going to suddenly become a Jamie fan, but it was a very good deed he did so he gets some leeway points. He tries to sweet talk his way from being unchained from tree and get some food as well, no doubt to plan an escape to bad that didn’t go so well for him and he lost a hand literally.

The funniest scene of the whole night was with Tyrion (not surprising) and his people. After becoming the Master of Coin and collecting all the books from Little finger at the whore house he leaves Pod, the boy who saved his life, for his first time with not 1 but 3 whores. Pod comes back much later with the full bag of coin. Prompting the men to be baffled and than promptly sit down and demand details. Hey, I kind of want to know the details too, maybe next week!

Jamie the King slayer is still walking his way back to King’s Landing under guard. He is cocky and arrogant as ever, but would we really have him any other way? They are spotted on one of the road ways and he warns that if the man who spotted them isn’t killed they will face a later problem. Brienne of course does not kill the man and they continue on, only to end up in a sword fight on a bridge after Jamie pulls one of his tricks. With the way he taunts Brienne you find yourself wishing she really would just lop his head off and be done with it but she has honor and does not do so. Only to be gathered up by some men from the North courtesy of the fellow on the road. Dang Jamie was actually right about that one.

Arya and her friends are still on the road but honestly I found the parts with them in this episode a bit confusing and not at all that interesting. They run into a band of thugs who threaten them but then take them for dinner only to eventually bring in The Hound who outs Arya as “The Stark Bitch.”. For his part as a Stark Robb is carrying on heading to put relatives in their grave with a little bit of complaining from the men in general because they are not fighting. You can’t really blame them at this point Arya seems to be getting more fighting action then the men of the King in the North.

Mance Rayder and his people are moving, heading South as he told them it was the only way to live. Jon Snow is of course with them although it would seem not yet fully trusted. We do actually get to see a warg in full action as he uses a bird to scout ahead I found that pretty interesting. Although Jon looked rather not enthused about being told about the Dead Crows.

Joffrey is as usual a monster and a shit. I am still wishing that someone would push him off a wall. Although seeing his equally distasteful Mother losing control over him is one bright side that I will not argue with too much. Perhaps the most interesting scene of the whole episode is when Sansa meets Margaery’s Grandmother she is my kind of Lady! Her frank speak and ease of being able to pretty much call everyone in her family a shit makes you like her right off. She and Margaery manage to get Sansa to say what the rest of us know that Joffrey is a monster, news that Margaery uses to her advantage, later asking King Brat if he would enjoy watching her kill something. This is of course right up his alley so perhaps that will be the theme for next week.

On the other hand, you can’t help but love someone with the courage to say what we’ve all known for so long, “That’s $50 for a t-shirt”. There’s an art to fearlessly rocking someone’s great-grandma’s old fur.  To those real heroes of thrift store shopping;  To you who is well versed in the Guerilla warfare of Goodwill restock days; To you who knows how to make wide tab collar jackets look contemporary; To the boy in brocade bellbottoms; The girl in green taffetta….this video is for you. And I will say- “This is f*cking awe-some”!

Thrift Shop on iTunes:
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The Heist physical deluxe edition:
http://www.macklemoremerch.com
The Heist digital deluxe on iTunes:
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Credits:

VIDEO

Directed By Jon Jon Augustavo, Ryan Lewis, Ben Haggerty
Produced By Hollis Wong-Wear, Tricia Davis, Zach Quillen
Lead Grip: David Herberg
Grip Assistants: Josh Marten, Jay Neilson
Stylists: Annie Murphy, Alex Nordstrom

MUSIC

Written by Ben Haggerty
Produced by Ryan Lewis
Featuring Wanz
Additional vocals by Brooklyn Grinnell
Scratches by DV One

SPECIAL THANKS TO

Goodwill Outlet
Value Village Capitol Hill
Red Light Vintage
Fremont Vintage Mall
Unicorn/Narwhal
Northwest African American Museum

Sara Stapleton, JR Ewing and Inner City Empire, Faisal Jaswal, Clay Davis

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